How To Finally Achieve Your Goals

Everyone wants to achieve their goals. But most people never do.

They go through life wishing they could finally start going after their goals. And maybe they start.

They buy the gym membership, the business course, the knitting set.

But after a week - when the novelty and motivation fades - they stop.

There are, of course, people who will stick with it for longer. They force themselves to do the thing and grind their teeth to get it done. But even they will (on a long enough time horizon) run out of the fuel that we call discipline.

My claim is:

It's not because some people are just weak. It's because most of them lack the understanding of their own mind.

I've faced this problem my entire life. I was pretty good at achieving most of the things I set out to do, but there was one thing which I just couldn't pierce through. Building my body.

I've always loved movement. But working out never STUCK with me.

Don't get me wrong. I started going to the gym at 16. But I was never really "locked in" for long enough.

I went through a "false transformation" you could say. I gained an insane amount of knowledge about working out, but I haven't really put all of that into long-term practice. I became the equivalent of a fat trainer.

But this year I finally cracked the code. I'm the leanest and biggest I've ever been. For the first time in my life, I'm not ashamed of looking in the mirror.

And I'm here to share what I learned.

There are 3 modes of change that I'm aware of.

The first two of them should be pretty obvious to anyone. It's the third that no one really talks about, and if they do - it's in a way the receiver of the information might not understand or be able to use it.

Let's go through them and see how they compare.

Driven by inspiration, desire, or external triggers.

Usually comes with bursts of energy. It's temporary and effortless.

It's useful for starting and making initial changes. But it's unreliable, depends on mood, and fades quickly.

Doing what needs to be done regardless of feelings using conscious effort and willpower.

It requires mental strength and delayed gratification.

Since it's not unlimited, it causes mental fatigue and isn't sustainable long-term. Although I'm sure there are exceptions.

This is the go-to in most self-improvement advice. And it's for 2 reasons (I think):

The fact is, you have to decide if you want to change your life or please your ego.

If the latter is the case, let's look at the last mode of change.

This is a deep belief about who you are that drives your behavior.

It's effortless. Once you establish it, it self-reinforces.

Systems tend to maintain their internal conditions - homeostasis. Your identity is a system.

Simply put, it is a permanent change.

When you align your identity with your goals, reaching them becomes inevitable.

It might look like I'm vilifying motivation and discipline here. That's not the case. Actually, those two are crucial parts of building lasting change.

Let's look at a fitness example to better illustrate my point.

You might get the motivation to get in shape after seeing someone jacked on social media. You start going to the gym, and after a week (if you even get there), the motivation fades. Workouts are not novel anymore, and you discover it will take longer than you imagined.

And that's it. If you're not disciplined - this is where it ends.

If you are, you might keep going to the gym for weeks, months, and maybe even years (willpower dependent). You will go on bad days, even when you don't feel like it.

This can get you to your dream body or closer to it. But it will require conscious effort the whole time.

Here's the fun part. If you align your identity with your goal and become someone who "just goes to the gym" - it stops being difficult.

You don't mind working out. It's part of who you are. You actually feel off when you don't.

The same way a coffee drinker feels off when they don't have their morning cup.

Now I hope you can finally see how useful this is.

To reach your goal, you first have to pick one.

Then, don't rely on motivation because it will fade. You need a strong emotional drive to carry the change.

Research in neuroscience reveals that our brain has a negativity bias. This means a threat is 3-5x as effective as a reward.

I recommend writing down your future where you DON'T stick to your goal. It has to scare you. It won't work otherwise.

Then write down all the benefits, and how you'd feel if you actually stuck to it

Think of it as being a mouse chased by a cat (nightmare future) while running after a piece of cheese (perfect future).

This combines both the negativity bias and reward seeking for the best possible outcome.

After the initial motivation fades, keep going.

I won't lie. There is a debate about how long it takes to build a habit. And even more about identity change.

It might take 18 months to fully integrate identity-level changes.

And there are multiple factors affecting the timeline. I won't include those because this letter is already longer than I expected.

My point stands.

If you maintain consistent action over a long-enough time while having strong reasons for change, it will become effortless somewhere along the way.

You become the person who does the thing. Without thinking.

This letter was inspired by a course from Dan Koe. It's a fully fleshed out system to achieve your goals. Check it out here.

TLDR;

Thank you for reading.

- Joni

BTW
If you need help with systemizing your freelance business or you are simply looking for someone to hold you hand, I do 1-on-1 coaching.

Just reply to this email or message me on X/Twitter.